Sitting on the only remaining seat on the L train, covered in black leather with faded flecks of gold is her purse. You know her. She’s the one who appears oblivious to how many people are standing. She makes herself appear busy by having her thumbs do a drum solo on her iPhone. But really she is just daring you to ask her for the seat. In fact, now her leg covered by the black and cream diamonds on her dress inches over to protect her valuables. And then when her stop arrives, she pushes, and demands the standees move aside so the queen may exit.
Do elementary school classrooms still have dulled metal pencil sharpeners secured to a wall? Waiting for the next child to crank its handle so it can gnarl on the yellow chewed up wood until it reaches a sharp point; and then feast on the number #2 shavings in its oblong belly? And when fully consumed, does the school custodial engineer/janitor collect and save the grinded remains, so it can be used to absorb the days lunch the next time a second grader violently hurls their mac n’ cheese and strawberry jello down the long winding staircase leading directly to the bathroom on the first floor?
I am sitting on a hydraulic gas filled Herman Miller black and walnut chair. I’m sorry. I lied. It’s a knock off.
As I slide into the faux leather seat, I realize my son set the chair to its maximum height.There is very little room between my knees and the bottom edge of the narrow DIY butcher block pub table from Target.
As I lean back to think, my chair, in almost a Quigi board way slowly rotates in a circular motion to the right, and then stops at what might be the letter A or V, depending on how you see two corners of a wall coming together.
As I resist twist myself back, I press my feet on the metal foot rest and force my palms against the counter to fight the chair from independently escaping. At just the right moment, I slide my hand gently down the shiny metal and clumsily lift the black plastic lever so that I may gradually lower the seat but instead I experience a sudden drop in air pressure! I expect to hear a pilot say ” ladies and gentlemen, this is the captain speaking. Looks like we got some turbulence up ahead and expect a bumpy ride. So we’re going to put on the fasten seat belt sign and ask you to return to your seats.”
But today, there was no pilot- no warning- just a sudden drop….a very sudden drop.