Woke up to the following email:
“As you may have seen, a family of large crows is nesting in the northern wall of the courtyard. The crows have become increasingly protective of the nest, and have attacked several employees entering the building through the doors at the north end of the courtyard. According to wildlife officials, this is typical behavior for nesting crows. The nesting cycle should last approximately 30 days, so we anticipate the crows vacating the nest sometime in late May. “
I am sitting on a hydraulic gas filled Herman Miller black and walnut chair. I’m sorry. I lied. It’s a knock off.
As I slide into the faux leather seat, I realize my son set the chair to its maximum height.There is very little room between my knees and the bottom edge of the narrow DIY butcher block pub table from Target.
As I lean back to think, my chair, in almost a Quigi board way slowly rotates in a circular motion to the right, and then stops at what might be the letter A or V, depending on how you see two corners of a wall coming together.
As I resist twist myself back, I press my feet on the metal foot rest and force my palms against the counter to fight the chair from independently escaping. At just the right moment, I slide my hand gently down the shiny metal and clumsily lift the black plastic lever so that I may gradually lower the seat but instead I experience a sudden drop in air pressure! I expect to hear a pilot say ” ladies and gentlemen, this is the captain speaking. Looks like we got some turbulence up ahead and expect a bumpy ride. So we’re going to put on the fasten seat belt sign and ask you to return to your seats.”
But today, there was no pilot- no warning- just a sudden drop….a very sudden drop.
Feed the poor- sounds good; Serve them Starbucks- sounds better.Today, the inexperienced Starbucks Barista failed to ask if I needed “room.” Translated into plain English, “Would you like me to leave room in your coffee cup, so you can pour cream into it without the coffee overflowing?”
When I removed the lid, the coffee was filled to the brim. I poured the excess directly into the garbage hole built into the cream and sugar self service stand. While doing this, I saw a homeless man. He stared right at me. His glare said “WTF man?! Why are you wasting the Venti?”
He was right . I felt ashamed. Starbucks throws away enough coffee to serve thousands of homeless a day. I wish they had those small white ribbed paper cups from the dentist office on the stand so I could share my dark roast with those less fortunate than me.
Snappy. Plucky.Jazzzzy songs from the 30’s and 40’s followed by a soft deep spoken voice, “this is ESCAPE.” In fact, it does feel like I’ve traveled back in time. Does anyone care what time it is? Check the over sized clock with Roman Numerals on the wall. Play tennis anyone? No? OK would you settle for the next best thing… slapping a couple of tennis balls on to a walker? Ready? Game on!First one done gets a sugar free cookie. Hungry after that work out? Interested in some “spaghetti fun?” You might even get a Polaroid of yourself eating! Is that mustache or sauce-Click-“Gotcha!” What fun! Time to relax and have a conversation with a new friend? “where the hell is everyone ?” “It’s early- they ain’t even made breakfast !” “Where the hell is everyone?” “It looks like the “coffee wagon’s” a coming.” “Grab your wagon’s ladies, we got some coffee to serve!
This is ESCAPE.
Welcome to assisted living.
It’s raining. I don’t have an umbrella. “Here, borrow mine,” she remarked “I’ve had this for 15 years! “Its a Totes with a wooden handle, so it’s heavy, but small enough to keep in your purse.” Why did she have to say that? I felt immediately burdened. Who keeps an umbrella for 15 years? What if I misplaced it or lost it?
Ive never kept an umbrella long enough to remember how long I had it. Umbrellas seem to just appear in closets whenever I needed one . No one told me I had to save them. But she could even tell me about how she lost her original wooden handled Totes at Mc Donald’s 15 years ago! Now, I feel guilty because I was probably the guy who found it, used it, and then threw it away.
Today, we celebrate the life of Martin Luther King. I know he had a dream, but did it include ice skating? When I heard some parents offer to take my kids ice skating today, I was surprised. Is this what his struggle was for? Perhaps so black and white children could skate together in one rink?
Maybe I’m over thinking this. But then I heard about a Hennesy advertising campaign “Mixed Drinks MLK Jr. Would Be Proud Of.” Hennesy goes on to say, Monday is Martin Luther King Day, a day used to commemorate the work of the Civil Rights activist. In the middle of winter, beaches and BBQ parties are impractical for the majority of the country that are given the day off. Check out these delicious Hennessy V.S specialty mixed drinks that are perfect for any indoor gathering to celebrate Dr. King’s life.. The new best way to honor Martin Luther King Jr. is with a cup of “Introspective Moment,” made from cigar-infused Hennessy, coffee, bitters, ginger beer, and a cherry.
What is the point of having a day off to honor Martin Luther King? I wonder if it would make more sense to not give children and adults the day off, but instead, use the time in school or in the work place to learn about the issues he cared about such as racism, and non-violence. If we can dedicate one day a year to give thanks on Thanksgiving; can’t we do the same to gather and learn about racism, non-violence, and how it impacts our lives today?
What do you think?
As I read the NY Times report about Amy Bishop the Harvard PhD accused of killing three colleagues at the University of Alabama in Huntsville,one part of the story stood out. It is the following,” The Boston Globe reported that Dr. Bishop was charged with assault in 2002 after punching a woman in the head at an International House of Pancakes in Peabody, Mass. According to a police report, Dr. Bishop was angry that the woman had taken the last booster seat in the restaurant, which Dr. Bishop wanted for one of her children, The Globe said. It added that Dr. Bishop was sentenced to probation and that prosecutors recommended she take anger management classes, though it is not clear whether she did.” I’m not an authority on these matters, but I feel pretty certain she never made it to anger management class.