I’m tired of ranting about Wall Street. I need to address bigger personal concerns. For the last several weeks, I have purchased bags of Candy Corn. I feel like I am in a regressed fog. I feel the need to explain the purchase to the cashier. I’ve already taught my sons how to make fangs with it. I’ve been sucked into the Halloween vortex. The other day I had to ask my wife if Halloween was the end of September or October-it must have been a candy corn hang over. When she reminded me we had a whole month to go, I couldn’t believe it. I knew something had to stop. So I purchased a child size milk carton of “whoppers.”
Last Friday, I saw my tired nearly 7 year old struggle to get to get out of bed, to put his clothes on, make it to breakfast, and hang on till he could brush his teeth and get out the door to first grade. And then it occurred to me, he was partly tired because this was his first 8:30 am to 3:15 school week. He made it. I put my arms around him and said, “TGIF.” “What’s TGIF dad?” he asked. At that moment, I wasn’t sure if I was amused at the concept of “thank God it’s Friday” or depressed. This is just the beginning. How many more Fridays will be thought of as “TGIF” or Wednesdays as “hump days.”
Let’s think about the implied meaning behind “TGIF” and “Humpday.” Aren’t we saying that most days of the week are a pain, a downer, simply something we have to get through in order to make it to “Humpday” and “TGIF?” Imagine being a kid full of life, excited about everything he hears, sees, touches and smells and then hearing that not so subtle message that most of life is one big pain in the ass, but we all go through it for a paycheck and the weekend. Insert song, “Everybody’s working for the weekend…”
While I was walking through Walgreens drug store looking for some cough syrup, I noticed the mega boxes of condoms. I couldn’t help thinking about how times have changed. Are young boys being deprived of that awkward moment of asking the pharmacist for a condem? Has that rite of passage been put to rest? Does the pharmacist even matter in the equation? It appears you just grab one of these monster size boxes and go up to the register…and pray they don’t need a price check.
I imagine there are enterprising young boys who buy these Costco size condem boxes and then sell them individually for a profit. Clearly there could be some advantages to not having to face an adult and buy a condem. However, what would it say to your peers if you only bought one condem.? So you’d probably have to purchase at least a half a dozen to keep up the perception that you are a stallion. And after a short time, they’d have to buy more in order to keep up the perception they’re having sex, even if the condems are rotting away in their wallet or being used in water balloon fights. Move over lemonade stand…hello condem stand !